The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize