it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
