Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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