we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
