??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
