i think my tv is drunk
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think people are normalizing furries
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
