This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
