so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
