oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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