If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
