well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
