I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
