i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize