It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
