can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
