just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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