Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize