once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
