I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
