so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
