Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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