We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
