I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
