Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
