You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
