I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
