dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just found a bag of teeth...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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