Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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