I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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