Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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