It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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