He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize