but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
false alarm, still single
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
