Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
