This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
