Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
whose parrot is this?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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