So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
