i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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