I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
