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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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