chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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