i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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