Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hello my rib-scented angel!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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