hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
