bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
