I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
