i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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