i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
