Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
