I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
smell my finger.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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