weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
