Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
