If i come over, it means nothing
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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