Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
