even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
