I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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