I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
