you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize