just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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