I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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