Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
