I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
