Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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