I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize