My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
