Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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