Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
