we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
