at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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