WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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