I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
