I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just googled if crying burns calories
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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