so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
