Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
