went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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