walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
