and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
