doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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